What is abuse?
Abuse is when an abuser plays into the mind of their victim to control their feelings and thoughts based on his wants. It has nothing to do with what his victim wants. It’s the act of moving into the victims personal territory and conditioning his own thoughts and feelings on his victim using various manipulative tactics. When played well these victims truly feel that the thoughts are their own. They are not aware that another person planted them there. These are thoughts and feelings that would otherwise not be likely to be naturally perceived through life experience.

How can an abuser control a child’s thoughts and feelings to dislike the targeted parent?
Building a relationship that seems like friendship by speaking gently and making eye contact will create warm feelings from one person to another. Being available at certain predictable times on a continuous basis will likewise solidify that trust. That is all wonderful if the goal is to build trust and honor it. However, if the goal is to monopolize the child’s thinking to see a specific parent as weak or unloving by having influence in their lives – then this is abuse. It is the abuse of trust.

How can an abuser destroy his victim – the targeted parent?
Utilizing various manipulative tactics the abuser can destroy the natural love between a parent and child. Very common is the use of psychological games to make their victim appear unstable. This will give the abuser full control over all parties within his and the victim’s social structure.

Why would someone commit abuse?
Abusers feel powerful when they realize they can control and/or destroy another person’s joy with their cunning ploys. Often these people have witnessed this type of abuse either personally or to someone close to them. This gives them a desire to replicate the abuse to put themselves back into a position of power. Sometimes too these abusers are after assets or wish to cover up a secret.

How will crushing his victim benefit the abuser?
Once the targeted parent – let’s say the mother – appears unstable the abuser now has full control over her social circle. He now has the power to cover up his secrets, access her finances, and to be the one to make all family decisions. Seeing a parent traumatized ‘for no understandable reason’ the children will now lose their warmth towards their mother. They will reject her. Since the abuser will appear in full control and loving towards the children he will be now be honored as the children’s savior.

Parental Alienation is complete.
The above scenario would classify as calculated abuse. A dogma where an innocent victim is broken down for the benefit of his/her abuser. It is a typical guideline that formulates the endgame of Parental Alienation.

For more info on the specific psychological games alienators play click on